• Nurse: So, another form of contraceptive is the Implant. It's a small injection into a woman's arm. It can stay there for 3 years and thins the lining of the womb so the woman cannot have children...
• Me: Someone just shoot me now.
• Nurse: And so, because the lining of the womb will be thin, the woman will not have a period for the duration of the 3 years the Implant is in.
• Me:
• Nurse:
• Me: So the Implant is in for 3 years...
• Nurse: Yes...
• Me: So you wouldn't have your period for 3 years...
• Nurse: No, you wouldn't.
• Me: HOLY MOTHERFUCKING BITCH SIGN ME UP STRAIGHT AWAY.

So, there’s this boy. He’s on my mind constantly, I dream of him, I think about him everyday and every night. It’s safe to say I love him and I have done for a long time. You see, I’ve known him since I was 4 or so, as he went to my first school, but the age difference between us is phenomenal. he was in Year 6 when I was in Year R and so, I barely knew him. But he went to my drama and when I joined, I got to know him a little more. Over the past two or so years, we’ve grown really close. He’s so funny and charming and I can trust him with anything. He’s like a brother, but he’s got to many friends and whilst he’s everything to me, he probably doesn’t give me a second thought. That hurts. A lot. To know as soon as I’m not in his company he probably forgets about me is devastating. To him I’m just that 13-year-old girl he knows. But to me he’s the charming, amazing, crazy 19-year-old I LOVE. And I do love him, I really do. He’s great to crack jokes with and I can tell him anything and he’ll listen. But I doubt he wants to. Sure, he acts sweet around me and he’s lovely but when he’s with his BEST friends, he acts so differently and truth be told, I’m jealous of them. I’m jealous of the way he acts with them and I wish it was me.

And for ages, I’ve been longing to tell him how I feel. I’ll sit in my room and work through what I would say to him if I had the courage but A) we don’t get long enough together for me to tell him in person and B) if I told him how I felt, it would totally shatter the friendship we’ve built up over the years. I’m sitting here crying because I have no idea what to do. I’ve put off telling him for so long and I know I shouldn’t have because when he leaves our drama group this year, I’ll never see him again. I’ll be lucky if I see him once or twice a year. That crushes me and I doubt I’ll have the courage to tell him. Ever. 

I long for the two or so hours we get every week. Even though we’re surrounded by loads of other people, he’s the only one I see and whilst he probably thinks I’m too clingy, I just want to spend as much time as I can with him. I’ve made a habit of hugging him every time I leave the class, and it feels so… WOW. I really do love him and I know I’m probably too young to experience real love but this feels so amazing. I want to tell him, I really do, but I’m so scared. Really scared. 

If anyone could help me, please inbox me. I’m crying here.

Thanks if you read this far. It means a lot, I love you.